Young Rose

"Keep your loved ones near and let them know just where you'd be 'cause others need you right near by just as you need me." Bonnie "Prince" Billie

I stared intently at two women in as many days and my crumbly little heart broke apart. I kept thinking, how much further can a man break apart? But I knew the answer was infinitely until death. "What a gift" I told Z in passing on the way out with the harem. "You know that crazy guy, the one from the flipside?"
"Yea, the big dude," I remembered clearly. "He's great," I added recalling his jolly hugs and smiles.
"He's crazy and he knows it," Z began "and completely spot on."
"How so?"
The boy interrupted briefly from his flirting with the girls to ask me if I wanted to throw the parachute guys. I nodded and held up a finger indicating I'd talk in a minute. I was making the girls wait to hear the story. Z was moved by something and seeing that I had just finished watching the Charlie Rose interview with Neil Young on his recommendation I wanted to hear it now - Young, Rose, the coincidence not lost.
"We were just talking out there in the parking lot and he saw those black dudes across the street blasting music. He crossed the street, asked them to turn it down and said, 'I love you guys' without the slightest hesitation and hugged each of them. You could tell at first they were posturing but they turned the music down and took the hugs."
"Nice," I replied understanding the observation, knowing he enjoyed it, knowing these connections make up a life.
"I told him my story." he said referring to the brain tumor and the recent suffering. Lately Z's had pain, massive pain that cramps half his crippled form. He never complains although occasionally he'll let me in on the facts. I told him the biblical story of Job, the connection obvious. "Just don't take my son," he added at its conclusion. The only thing Z admits to fearing.
"How'd he respond?"
"He said, 'No, fuck that. What happened to you isn't right. God sent me to you just as he sent you to me," he responded with a clenched jaw holding back tears. I looked him right in the eyes as always and nodded.
"Yea."
"Yea."
I opened the door and called for the boy who was having a Jolly time with Tess running about the asphalt. "C'mon, Papa's waiting," I said in mocked annoyance and left to make sense of the night.

At the bar I looked up and saw _ _ _ _. I was with the girls, my heart dropped. I thought about letting it go, again, but knew I wouldn't. No time like the present. No regrets. I ordered drinks and headed for her, consequences be damned. In the instant I turned from the bar there was X, Mack's girl, who knew the whole deal. "What's wrong?" she said. I wear my grief.
"_ _ _ _" I said motioning down the bar. "It's taking all the fight in me not to cause a scene."
"Let it go." That was good advice but didn't even make a dent.
"Yea, I know it." I stared.
"Do you want me to stay? I could stay for awhile and talk it out."
"No. I'll call if necessary. I won't make a scene. I know, I know."
"Daniel, don't do it. Text me." X left. I scooped up my drink and headed straight for her stool, tapped her on the shoulder.
"Hi."
"Hi."
I stared. She played it cool.
"Good to see you."
"You too." "You're wearing a purse." She was referring to my small black possibilities bag.
"It's a possibilities bag."
"What's in it?"
"Gun powder."
"I believe it."
Silence. The boy she was talking to waited. I didn't take my eyes off of her but there was nothing more to say, she had to say it. I cocked my head and walked off. And with a good mind to tear the place up but no one fights at this bar plus I wanted to keep it. From there the night drifted off.

Rose, Young