It’s all fun and games until someone gets an eye poked out, I thought. I lay exhausted on the stiff hotel room mattress. How did I get here again? The past few months gliding by with such ferocious change.
I lay sleepless in thinking of some of our last conversations.
I’ll be a Cyclops, I’m afraid you’re not going to want to look at me.
Babe, this is the least of my worries, seriously.
You say that now but
But there is no but. This may sound rude or stupid to you now but I see anything that you may not like as a design we can change. There is really no limit to what we can do. I want to say a prayer.
OK.
I’d like to ask god that if there is a way that you don’t have to do this, that if there is a way then please reveal that to you now.
God stayed silent on this one. The following day every blue scrub and gown was a lump in my mind, a potential thing to bring news and to bring Buttercup through. But no news came, not for over eight hours, ten hours, twelve hours, fourteen hours. They said no news was good news but this was torture. Instead we prayed, we prayed catholic prayers. This was most moving to me because all the positive history and generosity of those prayers came rushing back, I felt comfort in every one of those words and felt I belonged into some family I barely knew and in place where I was a foreigner. There was nothing cursed about it, not in these moments and I made note of it, I fell right into it and listened for Buttercups voice.
No comments:
Post a Comment