beat

Bang the drum slowly.

Wake up Daniel.
It's Rose.
Wake up.
I'm awake, I've been awake.
What have you been hiding?
Nothing.
True. Then what more do you need?
Depends who's asking.
Silence.
I need a way to safety.
You will not get this.
I need a telephone call then.
Who will you call?
Buttercup.
She will use you.
I want her to.
She will disappoint you.
I want her to.
Then you will get more of this.
I shake my head, looking down between my knees.
Get your friend to the doctor.
Which friend?
Mack.
Mack collapsed a few days back, clear out, for several minutes, paralyzed as in a stroke. Then he came to, scared and looking for help, not mustering up enough strength with the paralysis to get the phone out. Buttercup calls.

Hey babe.
Daniel I'm sick.
It's Rose.
Babe, what should I do?
What hurts?
My stomach, on the right side.
Is this your intestine or your liver? Is it your small intestines hurting?
I don't know. I'm scared.
I shake my head again as in a yes, looking down between my knees.
What do the doctors say?
They say it sounds like gall bladder stones.
(Shit those are painful.) Fuck. Let me look them up.
Are you online?
Just a minute. (Sure enough, symptoms indicate bile.)
I'm not sure how much more of this my body can take.
Yea.
What should I do?
Wait and if the pain is too much go to the emergency room.
Why don't you come live here?
And do what doll? (But I knew I would be better off just leaving, defecting if necessary.) I'll need supplies. But I must come on my own, not for sickness.
This sucks.
Most things do.
And I can hear the voices of my children stammering about. I can hear them calling me from across the open land and hear their responses. I can hear it over the dirty pine and clanging steel of the rail below. I can hear it over the loudmouth fags near the end bar stool chucking darts. I can hear them over the voices of other children nestled in with family. I can hear my children's voices louder than the ringing of my ears and louder than the pulse of body fluid over strained pants and groans of night terrors. I hear something there. And before long I know I'll be asleep and the morning will come and I'll get up, if nothing more than, to find out what comes next.