teeth

New Jersey is a bag of nails, teeth and bones, and I was born in it and I am of it.
“First off Danny, shut up. Second, you are not better than us - the same blood runs in your veins as runs through mine,” my sister said wish a gesture indicating her body’s vascular structure. I sat waiting for more punches. Though, I had already lost my cool.
“All you people are insane.” I was referring to my family and most of northern NJ who tend to regard NYC as anxiety ridden traffic jam. This insane comment prompted the ‘shut up’ and ‘better than us’ deal. I thought about it a second and decided to apologize. “I’m sorry, you’re not insane. I don’t think I am better than you.”
“Well, you should be sorry and you’re not better than us.”
I remained quiet.It took an intersession from Z before the anxiety was settled. All of this because we were going to take mom into New York and have her out before noon for the party. The plan was simple, it always is, take the tunnel in, get a bagel at Zabar’s, cross the park at 79th to the East Side, park on Madison, take the boy to the super hero and rooftop Koons exhibit at the Met, reverse course and deliver mom to her surprise party at one. Simple. I suppose in terms of desired outcomes for the day the thought was I wouldn’t be responsible enough to get it done right. I couldn’t worry about that now. We went and were home well before one and the surprise went off without a hitch though there was much talk and discussion about it at the party. I knew at that moment that nearly all of my anxiety was learned. I also knew that my mother and I were kindred spirits. We had, all and all, a perfect day.
All the while a line from a Chris Whitley cover droned in my mind – “But I have to ask. Are friends electric?” I scanned that crowd and saw it. I heard it in the music banded with the bloody broken vibe. I felt lucky for it.