Digital Haze

“How do you do it Z?”
“I just go moment by moment and try to enjoy the process.”
“I can’t imagine. I have a tenth of the worries and I watch you go through it with grace or mostly with grace.” I laughed internally knowing what a bungling mess it must look like from the outside. I looked around my place and laughed at that too, all the meager little things paired against a technology bomb. ‘Come and see it’ I thought but I lost connection to who I may be talking to. I kept looking for my friends and who to trust and in a sense I still wasn’t sure which is what I told Spence last night at the bar.
“Can I be honest with you man?”
“Shoot.”
“I’m not sure who to trust. I’m not even sure at times I can trust you. It’s odd even saying this. I look for authority in my friends, I look for trust.”
“Daniel, he was never your friend. I’m sorry.”
I had told him a tale of a guy who used my energy, just sucked it up and gave little back. It ended in retreat and solid ground. I held authority.
“I know, me too. I’m sorry too.”

From a dead sleep I woke up laughing with an erection. It was a good long belly laugh and a good long erection. A sign I thought. I turned toward Butter who had been tossing for hours.
“Was I laughing?”
“Yes. I thought it was funny, you were laughing in your sleep.”
“You’ve been tossing babe.”
“No, I slept well.” I smiled. Something big was behind those eyes. I didn’t press and I didn’t speculate.
The weekend contained amazing turns of fortune. I put it all into A.S.B. Maybe if the summer heat doesn’t drag me into a digital haze I’ll tell it. Remind me to tell it.