Boy with a Diamond in His Fist

[excerpt]

I was wackin’ off to internet porn and looking for a rag to catch the seed when I thought, how do I approach this subject? It was an unwelcome distraction, but when the spirits knock I’ve learned to listen. The trap here (and there is a trap) is that good work and thought and creation and, if the aim is true, art, gets sidelined by politics. The more powerfully ranked the school the more tightly wound the political distraction. This is not news, I suspect, to an artist who’s roiled in the mess of higher education. Maybe even ANY higher education (the MD’s I know go through a similar decompression process). Now before I devolve into pedantic irrelevance, I must disclose that my experience of art school was/is profoundly negative. Net sum loss. A limbless hammer toss. I let it all happen anyway and would probably do it again if but for the immense redolence of fear. Fear of being denied experience even when that experience is profoundly negative.

Sling shit and the whole room is gonna stink even when it hits the target. Parlay instead. So now, instead of hurling accusation which end up each boulders of Sisyphus, I look to ask the right questions. Questions have, at the very least, a logical structure and can be answered and reviewed. And what’s more, a non-answer is an answer. Matter of fact, some of the most useful lessons I’ve learned have been the result of non-answers. Here’s the thing: I’m not convinced that the non-answers I’ve received (save for those of a few confidants) are the result of earnest professional concerns. Concern of any type for that matter. I’ve wanted to tell the story but lacked the approach. Now I know that the approach is straight ahead, right through while its fresh before money makes me lazy and a liar. A molested alter boy. Trust in youth, it's all we'll ever be.